The Devoted Dad: When things start to feel out of control
Cope with what you can’t control, DOMINATE what you can.
Most of the Dads that come to me have some serious issues…
They are overweight.
Depressed
Anxious
Living with parents again
Don’t see their children enough
Lonely
And if I was to focus solely on these, just like they do, I’d have no hope of helping any of them.
I can’t help them move out of their parents’ house, talk to their ex about seeing their kids more often, make them lose a stone by the end of the month.
But this is ALL they can think about, and each adds to the other, and they feel like they have no hope.
What we can do is switch focus…
You can’t control how much weight you’ll lose in 8 weeks, but you can control how good your diet is, how many times you train.
Don’t get hung up on the numbers on the scale, they fluctuate too much anyway, but if you dominated your training and diet, I’m pretty sure you’d like the way the scales are headed.
My Devoted Dad Project will do just that…
It lets you get control back in your life, and we all know the snowball effect!
When we feel good about something, more good things build up off the back of it.
One of the first things we bring in is gratitude…
We can’t control the problems we face each day, we just have to learn to cope with them the best we can.
But we can control how much we appreciate the good things, although this can be easier said than done.
Thinking of 3 things you’re grateful for each morning sounds simple, but when we are conditioned to just react to the bad things all the time, it’s easy to lose sight of them.
Are you grateful for the coffee that helps you start your day? That 1 friend you can always turn to? You’ve got a roof over your head keeping you safe? The cuddles you got from a special someone? Your health?
You WILL find things you’re grateful for, big or small and it’s time to write them down each morning.
Let me guess… you’re thinking that writing your gratitudes isn’t going to make the problems go away, it won’t make the school run go any smoother, stop your boss having a go at you, or stop that bill coming through the post.
And no it won’t, but that’s not what we are aiming for.
Stop trying to directly fix those issues, we can’t control them.
What will happen is you’ll be able to cope with them better.
You know those days where everything just seems to be going wrong. And then little things what wouldn’t normally bother you, keep adding to the pain?
Or the rare occasion you’ve had some amazing news, something good has finally happened, and then all the problems just seem to bounce off you that day?
If you don’t appreciate the good, the days where life seems to be against you will be a common occurrence.
If you start to take control your mornings, you will create your own “amazing news” days!
The photo above includes 3 things I’m always grateful for; my partner Beth, my daughter Alexis, and my son Elias.
In the Devoted Dad Project group we are kept accountable and get boosted by each other posts.
If you’re not ready to join us, I’d love for you to reach out to me and let me know what you’re grateful for right now.
Lee
The Devoted Dad Project
We help busy Single Dads feel part of a family again, with 5 minute daily disciplines to increase energy, confidence & motivation in a Dad’s Online Community.